Before Breakfast - Give yourself advice

How to take an outside perspective on your dilemmas Learn more about your ad-choices at

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Hi, I'm Brian Huskey. I'm bald and I'm Charlie Sanders. I'm also called and we want to talk to people about it. Did you know that the less hair you have the more interesting? You become course. Everybody knows that well on our podcast all talk. We interview people about being involved will enjoy this too. I mean the show is about perception insecurity vanity just like human stuff. You wouldn't believe the things that come up in a ball talk on the iHeartRadio app Apple podcasts or wherever you listen to podcast. Welcome to before breakfast a production as iHeartRadio.

Good morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the before breakfast podcast. Today's tip is for those times when you know, you'd have wise counsel for a friend in your situation. And you could use some wise counsel yourself used the third person. Try thinking about your own situation as you would think about a friend and a similar situation with the wisdom and Cam that come with distance.

The tech comes from psychologist Ethan cross and his colleagues. They found that language especially the pronouns we used to refer to ourselves can create self distancing with greater distance. We are less reactive and we're wiser and navigating challenging situations. So how can you use pronouns to create distance when you're in difficult circumstances are facing a tough decision. Thanks for your situation using a third person pronouns, he or she or your name this lets you tap into the wisdom that an outside perspective offers so you can see your own situation with clarity.

It could sound something like this Laura's on a deadline and her internet just went out. What are her options now. Yes, it feels a little awkward to talk about myself using the third person but doing so slows things down calms me down and prompts me to think through my situation systematically rather than with a flustered perspective that's worth a little awkwardness.

Here are some more examples of what it could look like to think about your own situation using third person pronouns Mark just overheard his boss mentioned layoffs and he has a meeting scheduled with his boss tomorrow. Does that mean his job is at risk or Casey cancel plans with an again. Does she not want to be friends anymore? Second person pronouns. That means you can work to consider the script take a deep breath. You've got this you practice the presentation eight times and your colleagues like you they want to see you succeed. You will get through this presentation. Just fine or ask for a raise with the words. You were Hearst and then keep your mouth shut with a soft smile give your boss time to respond. You know, she values your work. So give her a chance to agree to what you proposed.

When you get a second or third person pronouns to place yourself on the outside of a situation, you can reason with the view of a wise Observer you're less likely to jump to conclusions or feel overwhelmed by emotions and more likely to see viable courses of action.

By changing your language, you can change your perspective and sometimes that's all it takes.

In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening. And here's to making the most of our time.

Everybody I'd love to hear from you. You can send me your tips your questions or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter Facebook and Instagram at before breakfast pod. That's be the number for then breakfast pod. You can also shoot me an email at before breakfast podcast at that before breakfast is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much. I look forward to staying in touch.

Before breakfast is a production of iHeartRadio from war podcast from iHeartRadio visit the iHeartRadio app Apple podcasts or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

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