Simply Charlotte Mason Homeschooling - Your Questions Answered: When You Want to Quit Homeschooling

I think at some time or other, all of us homeschool mamas have felt like giving up. “I just want to quit.” It’s a great question to discuss today, and Laura Pitney is here joining me: “What keeps you going when you want to quit?” Laura: That’s a very good question, as always. Sonya: Yes, […] Your Questions Answered: When You Want to Quit Homeschooling originally appeared on Simply Charlotte Mason.

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Welcome to the simply Charlotte Mason podcast. I'm so neuschafer. I think it's sometime or other all of us homeschool. Mom has had at some point felt like giving up. I just want to quit while we have a great question to discuss today. Laura Pitney is here joining me Laura. Welcome. Thank you. The question today is what keeps you going when you want to quit so very good questions as always. Yes. Yes all the questions we get are so helpful. I think it would be helpful if we go through this topic and address for different areas cuz I can see motivation that would help us and encourage Us in four different areas of life. All right, so I wrote him down so I wouldn't forget. All right first let's address the physical aspect. We all know we can get tired. Yes homeschooling. It takes a lot of energy. They need us all the time. Yeah, not just for school.

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Yeah, they have to eat every day and the clothes keep getting dirty every day and they fight and bicker everyday it can take a lot out of us. Yes, it does. So physically some things that can help us. Keep going when we feel like quitting.

00:01:25
I think the two r's are so important rest and Recreation and we often think about those last in our priority list because we think it's selfish. But if you're at the point where you want to quit then that rest and Recreation could keep you going so it's not a selfish thing to do. I agree. I think it is important. I think that comes down to scheduling, you know, a lot of times if we're not purposeful about important things like that. They get neglected. So, you know have a bedtime either have a time my shopping for the kids at me. I am happy when the kids go to bed at all is well and then it's like yes, it's my my alone time my time to catch up on meeting or spend time with my husband or whatever the

00:02:25
To have a bedtime knowing that I need my 8 hours of sleep, you know, I can cheat every once in awhile, but I have tried to be very strict about that. Yeah, but she didn't catch up with you and I used to have the mistaken notion that rest was something I would get around to once all the work was done but the work is never done. And so that rest just kept going farther and farther out even bedtime but other times as well to refresh ourselves, I guess I said Recreation before but we set measurement. What does Recreation mean whatever whatever charges your battery and that's going to look different for each person. I mean for you it is painting your porch, you know for me that's going to drain my battery up for me. It might be weaving on my loom or playing the piano and it just it's going to look different for each person, but it's so important as you said that

00:03:25
Schedule that time because if you don't everything else is just going to push it out of the place and I think scheduling rest and refreshment is super important and I think we need to look at ourselves and figure out what that looks like, but I think even and how we schedule our school is important to yes talk about them lots of different scheduling options. I have a mom friend, who is she is found her Niche six weeks on a week off 6 weeks on a week off like she doesn't necessarily stay with, you know, her County rules or things like that, but she has learned that if she doesn't have that week off to anticipate and to look forward to then she easily gets burnout within those six weeks. So I have another mom friend who just three weeks 3 weeks on 1 week off. So that works if you go year round.

00:04:25
All of your days and you have some extra weeks left over for a long time and then tell projects whether that's physical household projects or like a craft week or just things that aren't normally scheduled in their school or even doing the day trip field trip fun things like that. I think learning how best to schedule your school time is part of understanding that rest and Recreation and I mean, honestly, it's a discipline like to know that if you do those things that you've assigned your family to do you get that that that anticipated time off that is be knowing that it's just at the right time right when you need it versus waiting too long or doing it too soon and some of that it's going to depend on what season of life here in there two, things are going to change.

00:05:25
What is The Sweet Spot this year or even this term might be turned on its head next term so holding that Loosely but with a positive attitude that we can make adjustments as we go forward we can I also feel that I have had to give in to the fact that I need exercise. I resisted so long. I feel good. I feel better and I am emotionally well, let me say I'm more emotionally stable when I'm physically active whether it's riding a bike with the kids swimming my older daughter and I have been exercising together when she has been I just ain't taking care of ourselves literally physically, there's so many positive things that come from that and so

00:06:21
We mentioned the physical side of things Channel because the physical emotional so I guess so what kind of mom do I mean taking care of yourself physically is going to help stabilize the emotional side of it. But what else can we do to help us keep going emotionally as I personally have found that it's so important to find some like-minded friends who are in similar situations that mean nothing's going to be identical but a few other homeschool moms or whatever the comparison would be, you know, just finding a good support group to where you can brainstorm ideas to where you can vent. Like am I going crazy? Please tell me, you know, you need some honest honest feedback, you know troubleshooting. Okay. I tried this. It didn't work. Why help me help me see what I'm missing. I had a friend this past school year where I said I here's my

00:07:21
SOS, I need help. I feel like I'm missing something with my two younger ones. And so she took us in we went over to her house everyday and did school together with both of our families and by the end of a few weeks. She was like, okay, this is what I'm saying. I'm seeing you. This is a good strong point you're doing great. But this is what you need to work on. I just wasn't seeing it. And so to have that good support. I just I needed that and again it help me get over my hump of wanting to quit, you know, just because it was like I'm done. I don't I can't get over this roadblock and soda bring her in and it was a lifesaver. I just it renewed me to know. Okay. I'm not a complete failure. She sees positive things happening. We're progressing and to have a friend like that who can support you emotionally, but not just sympathize with you and say oh, yeah, honey, you got it so bad and then do nothing to help. So that's a huge thing. You know, it's like

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I had to humble myself and say listen and I have no clue what I'm doing. Can you please help me and that was after several years of doing this the season had changed. Yeah. I just lost sight of jumping back in to give him a hundred percent to the younger ones, you know that the older ones had become easy and we're in this Rhythm and then it's like oh, yeah, I got these other ones hanging back here. So I definitely needed that support and that friend group. So that was my emotional Kickstart to get back on track. As you said you had lost sight of that. I think another thing that we sometimes lose side of is the why why we started home schooling to begin with and sometimes if you can revisit that

00:09:07
Mentally and emotionally just spend some time there thinking about it. I think that can rekindle some of that enthusiasm Charlotte talked about our high ideals that can get lost in the endless succession of small things everyday, but if we can go back and revisit those ideals, why did I start doing this? What was it? I wanted to see what are my goals? I think that can help immensely to mean that the third thing that we're talking about is the mental side of thing. I mean, we are physical seems doable Dino's Den managing things that we are physically doing we all got emotions, you know, whether it's friends helping us through that our husbands. Are you no emotions are there but that mental component. I mean, it's it that's an internal Battle Ground, you know of just things we know things we feel I mean it to me it just all

00:10:07
How's there and can easily build? So for me mentally I go usually go to to two places. I have to remind myself that time is short. The days are long but the years are short come off all the rabbit trails and anchor back to realizing I get them one once he get one shot at that one shot is a limited time. So that anchors me to be like, okay is everything spinning but my motivation that mental anchor is okay. This is what this is the time is now that could be motivating. It can also be a relief it's okay. This will soon be over.

00:10:53
Depends on where you're coming from an emotionally which side of that mental peace is going to be the most comforting and the other place I go mentally is. Okay. What are my realistic options? Okay, if I quit what is that look like let me go there. Let me plan it out. Let me see like okay, what are we talkin about? If I throw in the towel and oftentimes going through the situations the budget the logistics all of that is good and it brings me back to okay. This is why I'm doing it. Even if even if there are other options out there, you know, and it may or may not work or you know, whatever the situation is but to let myself go there I usually end up back at the end wanting my kids at home with me it helps you revisit the Y. Yeah, absolutely. Another thing that I like to do mentally is reviewing my mind back it up to where was the last time I can remember

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That I let things are going well and that I did not want to quit and then examined the time space between then and now and say what has changed just tried it. Look at this objectively and you might need somebody else to help you think objectively what has changed in there. That might be affecting what I'm thinking now or what has not changed that I was hoping would change. I think the looking at those and asking those two questions and answering them. Honestly might give you a hint as to what might be causing this feeling of I just want to give up. Right right and I think that brings us to our fourth thing, which is a lot of prayer and the spiritual component that where we're at spiritually you because that's a hard place to to truly analyze.

00:12:52
I was happy and content then and I'm not now or I was miserable then and I'm happy. That's that's some soul-searching right there and to try to do that on our own is hard enough, but to depend on the Lord to guide our thoughts to guy. Does that mental Battle Ground to where we should be I think is so important and our our map. So to speak is the scripture. We we need to have that in front of us at all times to remind us anchoress to give us our footing. You know, there's so many different scripture verses passages that motivate us and courage is when we can relate to when people were discouraged that they weird. Yes. Yes. Look at Elijah is like just take me to know I'm done to that and then you got the passages. So don't be weary in well-doing for in due season. We will reap if we don't spank. It's things like that really can be encouraging our labor in the Lord is not in vain.

00:13:52
Keeping those things in front of us to feed our mind and our hearts Truth versus living off our feelings and I think a lot of times in those moments of wanting to quit it's more emotional based and discouragement base vs. Clinging to what we know is true and right and got honoring I was listening to a podcast the other day where the speaker said his dad always told him. Here's a truth put that in front of you.

00:14:26
And the idea is what we want to remember. We should always put in front of us and the things that we want to forget. We need to put behind us. And so if we can keep that scripture those truths in front of our eyes as well as in front of our brain, that's what we're going to move toward you move toward what you focus on so true. I feel like the question or that we've proposed today of what do I do when I want to quit I think that that's an honest question and I think there's any shame in being and feeling that way I feel like you know, if you said you never wanted to quit I would say something is wrong with you. It's okay to be in that place.

00:15:14
But it's not okay to do not want to get out of it. So question what you're doing physically questions the emotions question the mental status question your spiritual life, you know, if you're asking that question, what do I do? I want to quit you need to go to those four things and you need to prayerfully consider all of them to to help you get over that hump. I mean, we've all been there we have and I think in our own strength, it's going to be very hard to pull ourselves out. But with the strength of the Lord his strength is made perfect in our weakness. Amen. So so we just ask for the grace to persevere and I wasn't Oswald Chambers who said pray and do the next thing so we we keep moving and doing what we know. What's right. Yeah, I think Karen andreola had that wonderful chapter and culture about I can keep flying I can do that.

00:16:07
Thanks for the encouragement. If you enjoyed this podcast subscribe through iTunes Google Play for your favorite podcast app. So you don't miss an episode. You can also subscribe to the video version of this podcast or reads the blog post on our website at simply Charlotte Mason. Com. All of those links will be in the notes along with links to any resources that I mentioned. By the way. Did you know that you can tell Siri or your echo or Google device to play the simply Charlotte Mason podcast. Give it a try. Thanks for joining me. I'll see you next time.
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